Back to Nature With the Brotherhood
by Red Witch
Summary: For those people who believe the woods are a perfect place to find peace and quiet you don't know the Brotherhood very well.


**A few hungry moose has trampled all over the disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters. How about some more Brotherhood fun in the woods? This ought to be good…**

**Back to Nature With The Brotherhood**

"Smell that fresh air!" Pyro took a deep breath. "I love the great outdoors!" The Brotherhood boys were in a clearing relaxing in the middle of a forest. 

"Of course you do," Pietro said. "There's plenty of wood for you to burn." 

"Not to mention birds and other animals," Lance added.

"I am getting sick and tired of these jokes," Pyro sniffed. "Look as much as I love fire and burning things I am a believer that nature is best left unburned all right? I mean I just don't go out starting fires on poor innocent forests because it's fun. Okay I burned a ranger station once but that was totally justified!"

"So you never set a forest on fire?" Todd asked. 

"No," Pyro denied it. Then he thought. "Okay technically yes. I mean that ranger station fire did get slightly out of hand so yeah but that was an accident. So it was just one fire. Just one. Well if you don't count the other one. Which I don't."

"Other one?" Lance asked.

"When my powers were first starting up things were a bit wonky," Pyro explained. "I was on this camping trip with some blokes and well it sort of got a little out of control. So yes I guess I did accidentally set fire to two forests. Or three."

"Three?" Fred asked.

"Well again that one wasn't my fault because it wasn't really my idea," Pyro told him. "I was on a training exercise with Magneto and me and Gambit were sparring and I got a little carried away. That's understandable right? I mean we were in the middle of nowhere so nobody got hurt. So I set three forests on fire. Oh wait no it was four…five…Well I know it was less than seven so it's not that high a number. Unless…do swamps count as forests? Then it would probably be nine. Or more." 

"And to think Wanda decided not to come with us today," Todd remarked. 

"I think the fact that Wanda wanted some alone time was the real reason," Lance told them. 

"Yeah even I don't buy the excuse that Wanda was gonna count all the cracks in the ceiling and give them names," Fred said. "Especially after I did that last month!" 

"Okay it's official," Lance groaned. "I'm stuck in the woods with crazy people." 

"Oh lighten up!" Pyro took out a soda from the cooler and drank some. "Relax! Enjoy the beauty of the forests! All the green stuff and everything. Where the heck are we anyway?" 

"I thought you knew?" Todd asked. "I wasn't really paying attention. I was kinda zoning out in the car there. You know where we are Freddy?"

"In the forest duh," Fred looked at him. 

"We're going to be lost all day aren't we?" Lance asked Pietro. 

"Yeah well," Pietro shrugged. "At least it will give Wanda time to calm down. Did you have to use her nail polish on your garden gnome collection Toad?"

"Well the paint was starting to come off," Todd shrugged. "I just hope she doesn't find out what I did with her lip gloss." 

"Maybe its just as well we're gonna be here a while," Pyro sighed. "Oh look over there! It's a squirrel!" 

"Wow the wonders of nature," Lance said sarcastically as the squirrel came over to investigate.

"Hey I wonder if he want's a sip of my soda?" Pyro held out his can. "Hey there little pal, wanna taste?" 

The squirrel crept closer sniffing the soda. "Come on little fella," Pyro coaxed. "It's okay. Aw look at the cute little thing…HEY!" The squirrel grabbed the soda and chugged it down. "I said a sip not the whole thing!" 

"Oh great just what we need," Lance said sarcastically. "A squirrel high on caffeine."

"You bloody little pipsqueak!" Pyro snapped. The squirrel chattered back. "Oh yeah? Well your mother eats nuts!"

"Odds are you're right Pyro," Pietro said sarcastically.

"Who do you think you are stealing stuff?" Pyro screamed. The squirrel chattered back. "You are so rude! Rude! Rude! Rude!" 

"He's arguing with a squirrel…" Lance blinked. 

"Yeah that is nuts," Todd nodded. "Especially since he's right." 

"Give me that soda you furry little freak!" Pyro shouted as he leapt at the squirrel. The squirrel dashed out of the way and dropped the soda. Pyro creamed as he looked at the empty can. "It's gone! Gone! Gone!" He sobbed on his knees. "Oh why? Why? WHY? Oh life is so cruel and unfair! Especially to us beautiful people!"

"Oh brother," Pietro groaned. "And you guys say **I **have an ego?" 

"Chill out Pyro we have a whole case of them here," Todd groaned as he took another soda out and threw it at Pyro. Pyro however missed it and it hit him on the head. "Oops sorry."

"No worries, just hit my head," Pyro replied in a wobbly voice. 

They heard a strange laugh. "Oh great now we've got an audience," Pietro groaned as he looked at a small brown rabbit that was hopping nearby. "What are we? Forest entertainment? I didn't know rabbits could laugh." 

"I know that laugh…" Lance growled and glared at the rabbit. "YOU!" 

"Uh oh…" Todd gulped as a minor tremor shook the ground.

"Of all the forests in the world we had to pick this one," Fred shook his head.

"What?" Pyro asked, confused. 

"Don't look at me," Pietro shrugged. "I'm lost too." 

"DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN WHAT YOU DID TO ME YOU STUPID BUCK TOOTHED RODENT!" Lance shouted as he started to run after the rabbit. "COME HERE!" 

"Am I missing something here?" Pietro asked. 

"It's kind of a long story," Fred said. "When you took off with Magneto after getting our little secret exposed on the evening news." 

"YOU'RE GONNA PAY BUGS! YOU HEAR ME! PAY! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" Lance screamed as a few more trees fell down.

"What happened?" Pyro asked.

"Let's just say Lance isn't that good of a hunter and leave it at that," Fred sighed. 

"You know with all the times we've lost you would have thought he'd take losing to a bunny rabbit a lot easier," Todd scratched his head. 

"COME BACK HERE YOU DUMB BUNNY!" Lance ran by screaming. 

"And we were worried about Pyro wrecking the forest," Fred shook his head as more trees fell.

"It's gonna be a parking lot by the time Lance gets through," Todd remarked. 

"Cool, maybe a new store will come in like a Starbucks or something," Fred remarked. 

"A Starbucks?" Pietro looked at him. "In the middle of a forest?"

"You're right," Todd said. "A Dunkin' Donuts would be more practical." 

"I do not believe this," Pietro groaned. "And I thought Lance has gone mental!"

"BUNNY! DIE BUNNY! WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU NOBODY WILL WANT YOUR FEET BECAUSE THEY'LL SAY YOU WERE SO UNLUCKY! OW!" Lance screamed. "SINCE WHEN DO RABBITS THROW PINE CONES?" 

"Poor devil," Pyro sighed. "The guy's off his rocker."

"Chee, chee…" The squirrel chirped from the rock.

"You said it mate," Pyro agreed. 

"I wonder if I should go back home and help Wanda pick out names for the wall cracks," Pietro groaned. 

*** For those of you completely lost, read 'Brotherhood on the Run' for the whole story! It's really good people! **

Pietro: And people say I'm shameless! Okay who stole my mirror? **(Sees the squirrel looking at it.) **GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK! 


End file.
